Missing You
by gamerchick02
Summary: CSI, GSR fic. Grissom gets letters, responds to them and ends up going to California. This is a two parter. Complete!
1. Letters

Title: Letters  
Author: gamerchick02  
Show: CSI  
Pairing: GSR (Gil/Sara)  
Genre: Angst  
Rating: G  
Disclaimer: I don't own them. If I did, Sara would never have left.  
Summary: Grissom gets letters and responds to them.  
Spoilers: Everything that's aired so far, but mostly Goodbye and Good Luck.  
Notes: From Grissom's POV. First part of two.

* * *

I woke up to my "day off" alarm. It was Tuesday. Wait, no, it was Thursday. I changed my day off when Sara left. Sara left. It makes my heart hurt to think of it. 

I did my normal morning routine; that is, as normal as I can have a routine without Sara in it. Took the dog out, played with him, fed him, ate breakfast, watched CNN.

CNN was in the middle of talking about the Iraq war when I heard the mail truck pull up to my house. Probably bills. I waited until the truck departed, and I walked out there to retrieve it.

I went back in, and plopped the mail down on the counter. It was as I thought; bills, junk, more junk and a personal letter. Personal letter? Wait... is that Sara's handwriting? My hands shook as I picked it up and opened it, slowly. I closed my eyes as I let my hands touch the paper that she had held. I felt an energy in the letter as I touched it. She's still out there. I sighed, opened my eyes, and started to read:

_Gil,_

_I am sorry for departing so quickly. Vegas was becoming stifling to me. I loved Vegas when I arrived, but started to hate it more and more while I was there. The crime rate was going up, and I couldn't deal with all the death._

_You are still my one and only. I have never felt so happy when I was living with and loving you. There are no words to express how I feel about you._

_I have decided to stay in California and have started to finish my degree in Physics from UC Berkley. I got re-admitted with my credentials and my life experience. I'm teaching two classes as well as working on two projects that count as classes. I'm learning so much._

_After this year, I should have my master's completed and I will begin working toward my doctorate. Physics is definitely where I want to go with my life. It is the most holistic of the sciences, and brings everything together._

_I have been working hard. I wish you knew how much I cared about you. You are the best thing to have come into my life. I hope I can return to Vegas after I complete my degree. Your marriage proposal still stands._

_I will love you always._

_Your dearest,_

_Sara_

Well, at least she's doing ok. God, I miss her. She is the best thing to come into my life.

Where did I put that envelope? I need her return address! I hunted through the trashcan, and found it. Yes, she was at UC Berkley. She was in a graduate dorm room, from the looks of her address.

I started writing:

_My dearest Sara._

_I miss you so much. Yes, you did depart quickly, but I understand why you did. I also understand why you did what you did before you left. The kiss was incredible._

_I'm glad you have found a safe place for you to work. I'm glad you have found happiness._

_I know exactly how much you care about me. You are the best thing to come into my life, dear. I'm glad my marriage proposal still stands. I still want to get married to you._

_I will love you forever._

_Gil_

I put it in an envelope and sealed it and put a stamp on it as quickly as I could. It would have to go out tomorrow, but I won't be impatient.

It was two weeks later when I went out to the mailbox again and found a letter from Sara. My hands, again, started to shake. I breathed in the scent of engineering paper and of Sara. She must have run out of regular paper. Anyway, I started to read:

_Gil,_

_Thank you so much for responding to my last letter. I miss you as well, and I'm glad the kiss was as good for you as it was for me._

_School is going very well. I have been teaching two more labs in addition to my other duties because one of the other teaching assistants is out on medical leave._

_I have been asked to work at the LA CSI lab. I'm not sure if I will take their offer. For one thing, you aren't there. For another, forensics was what I was trying to get away from. If I can take a job in the lab studying trajectories, I might do it, but I would like to finish my studies first._

_Do you have any offers for teaching here at UC Berkley? I would love to see you. You're a very in-demand instructor and I'm sure the Biology and Entomology departments would love to have your insight. I might be able to audit the class. Actually, I'd look forward to it._

_You are still the best thing that has come into my life. I look forward to seeing you as soon as I can. I'm very busy with school and work right now, but I treasure your letters when I receive them._

_I'll love you forever._

_Your dearest,_

_Sara_

My heart melted. She wants me to come and visit her! I started to go through all my invitations to lecture at universities and colleges. I found one that was recently sent (about a week ago) and opened it. It was from UC Berkley and was for teaching forensic entomology to master's level students. The invitation was for two months. That might work.

I started another letter:

_My dearest Sara,_

_I love receiving your letters in the mail. It is always a thrill when I get one. I savor it._

_I'm glad school is going well. It sounds as if you are busy. Do whatever will make you happy; if it's working at the CSI lab, then take it. If it's finishing up your studies, then do that. I can't make that decision for you, just like I couldn't make the decision you made to leave._

_I do have an offer to teach at UC Berkley. It starts in three months and is for two months. The letter is from the Criminal Studies department, so I would be teaching there. I would absolutely allow you to audit my class, although you might distract me from my main job while I'm up there._

_If I were to take this offer, would you be able to see me on a regular basis? Would we be able to get together for coffee and dinner and other things while I'm there? Maybe it would be interesting if I moved into your dorm room. Well, maybe not, knowing how small those rooms can be!_

_I'm glad you are still in love with me, for I am very much in love with you. There can be no other person in my life. I love you._

_Gil_

Again, I put the letter in an envelope and put a stamp on it. I hoped I wouldn't have to wait too long for her next letter.

I started getting things together for another sabbatical. I instructed Catherine on what I was doing and I also gave her what she'd need in my absence. I was diligent in signing off on cases, because I'm normally not that on top of things. I hate paperwork.

I sent in for the visiting instructor position, which was confirmed in less than a week. I guess I am in demand. Anyway, I looked at where I'd be living, and it was in the graduate housing dorm. I wonder if it's the same place Sara is in? Well, I'll soon enough find out.

It was three weeks before I left to teach when I got another letter from Sara. I really hadn't noticed when I didn't get a letter from her, as I was very busy. This one seemed to have an excited air about it as I read:

_Gil,_

_I'm so glad you accepted the offer to teach! I will get a chance to see you! You make me very happy._

_I will be auditing your class._

_I noticed that you will be staying in the graduate dorms. I'm living there! I hope we can get together when you are here. The dorms are small, and I'm sure you would prefer to have your own room._

_I'm so excited! You probably don't have too much time on your hands, with preparing for the class._

_I'm looking forward to your visit. Please tell me what time you will be arriving in California, so I can meet you._

_I still love you forever. You are the only one for me._

_Your dearest,_

_Sara_

I sighed.

I finally will have a chance to see her, after six months of not hearing anything, and then writing letters for three months. It will be a joy.


	2. The Visit

Title: The Visit  
Author: gamerchick02  
Show: CSI  
Pairing: GSR (Gil/Sara), shades of Catherine/Keppler and Warrick/Catherine  
Genre: Angst  
Rating: R; language, adult themes.  
Disclaimer: I don't own them. If I did, Sara would never have left. CBS owns CSI.  
Summary: Grissom teaches at UC Berkley and sees Sara.  
Spoilers: Everything that's aired so far, but mostly Goodbye and Good Luck.  
Notes: From Grissom's POV. Sequel to "Letters"; please read that one before this one. This one will make more sense. WIP.

* * *

I packed my bags. Catherine was outside my house waiting impatiently. "Gil, hurry the hell up. You have to be at the airport in an hour!"  
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," I yelled back. 

I looked outside. Catherine was becoming more impatient as the time went on. I looked over the stuff I was taking to California. There had to be a way to reduce some of it. I had my, well, really, our queen-sized bed covered with stuff. All of my class notes were already packed, as well as the books I was going to take. I was just trying to decide on clothes.

"You know, Gil, she won't give two shits about what you're wearing." Catherine startled me out of my thoughts.  
"Dammit Catherine, don't startle me like that!"  
"Didn't know you were so jumpy. Just hurry up. We don't have that much time. Oh, and please don't take any of your specimens. I don't want to have to explain to the TSA people about them again."

I chuckled. She was remembering the time I carried on five specimen jars in my luggage. I was going to Miami and, of course, couldn't get a direct flight there, so both of us had to explain to the TSA agents what the jars in my bag were. It was a big mess, although the looks on the agents' faces when I told them what was in the jars were priceless. "Don't worry, Catherine, I sent those through the mail already."  
"Whatever. Just hurry up. Now we only have forty minutes to get to the airport."

I quickly finished packing, putting Sara's letters in the outside pocket of my carry-on. My suitcase was ready to go, as was my briefcase/laptop bag. "Ready?" I asked as I came down the stairs. "Come on, Hank!" Our dog lumbered out of the house. I opened the back door for him to hop in and I got in the front seat. "Thanks for taking Hank for me. I appreciate it."  
"No problem. He's really well behaved, isn't he?"  
"Yeah. He kind of came that way."  
"Hmmph."

We drove in silence to the airport. I could tell that Catherine was stewing over something. "What's wrong?"  
"You. Leaving. Again." She spoke the three words almost with disdain.  
"So? You did really well when I was gone before."  
"I also missed you, and fell in love with Keppler."  
I raised my eyebrow. "I didn't know how much you cared about him."  
"It wasn't obvious?" She turned toward me and had a hurt look on her face. "The way I acted when he got shot? I was about ready to tell him how I felt. That day." She took in a ragged breath.  
"Cath, I'm sorry..."  
She glared at me. "I just wonder who's going to try to take your place this time."  
"I heard something about Ecklie."  
"Eww."  
"So, you're not going to fall in love with Ecklie?"  
She glared at me again. "No."  
"Good. I don't know what I'd do if one of my top CSIs was sleeping with my boss."  
We traveled in silence for a little while longer. It was then I asked, "How are you and Warrick?"  
"What do you mean?"  
"What do you mean, 'what do you mean'?" I said. "You two have been spending a lot of time together. I may be an uncaring scientist, but I do observe things. It's in my nature."  
"I didn't know you were profiling Warrick and me."  
"I wasn't. It's just..."  
"You know; you and Sara kept things hush-hush for a very long time. I don't know how you did it."  
"Simple. We had a couple of rules: no touching at work, no calling each other anything other than professional names, and no silly games."  
"Well, that worked out for you," she said, sarcastically. "I saw you two always sneaking glances at each other, and you'd touch her out in the open occasionally. I saw you do it, Gil."  
"At that point, I couldn't help myself. I thought nobody was looking."  
"What did she call you?"  
"What do you mean?"  
"What did she call you... like names?"  
"Oh. She'd call me Gil, Gilbert, babe. That sort of thing."  
"I heard you call her sweetheart and dear. That's so cute and old fashioned!"  
"How did this turn into talking about me? I thought we were talking about you and Warrick!"  
"Oh, look, here we are at the airport. See you later!!"  
"Wait a minute! Aren't you going to help me with my bags?"  
"Oh. Sure." Catherine got out of the car and grabbed my luggage that I wanted to check. She walked me in and dropped me off. "Good luck with this. We'll miss you."  
"Thanks Cath. I appreciate it. Really, I do."  
"Now, go get busy with your girl," she said, rather loudly.  
"Cath!" I glared at her. My ears were on fire.  
Catherine snickered and left me there in the middle of the airport with several people looking at me. I stalked up to the check-in line and waited.

The line was only about ten minutes long, which was perfect for me, because I only had forty-five minutes before I boarded. My luggage was loaded onto the carousel to go to California and I got in line to check into the terminal.

I got up to the TSA agent and she groaned. "Mr. Grissom, sir, will we be searching your bags today?"  
"Well, I hope not. I don't have any specimens in there this time." I smiled.  
"Continue on thorough." She seemed relieved.  
After I got through security, I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket and dialed Sara's number. I knew it would go into voice mail, since she had classes today; teaching and learning.

I listened intently to the message, and sighed when she said her name into the normal, boring away message. Waiting for the beep, I told her where I was:  
"Sweetheart, I'm at the Vegas airport. I'm going to be getting on a plane in a little bit. My phone will be off later, but I'll call you when I get in. I know you're in class right now, but I just wanted to tell you where I was. I love you. Bye." I hung up and looked around the terminal.  
Soon after I hung up my phone, the voice over the loudspeaker gave my flight information. I had to leave.

I got settled into my seat, declined the nuts and alcohol, and got settled for a relatively short flight over the desert to California.

"Sir, you have to wake up for landing." I woke up to a flight attendant shaking my shoulder. I stretched a little bit and nodded to her.

The plane touched down with a slight bump. Much better than other landings I've experienced. Anyway, I gathered my stuff and exited the plane with the other couple hundred or so passengers that were headed into the bowels of the airport. I was just hoping my Sara would be outside the terminal to greet me.

I got through the security again, and headed over to where they keep car rentals. If Sara wasn't here, I'd have to rent one and go there myself. I was checking out the models they had for Hertz when I felt somebody come up behind me and put a pair of hands over my eyes. "Guess who?"  
I smiled. Sara wasn't known to play that game. Heh. "Uhm..."  
"Oh, Gilbert. You should know who I am."  
I smiled again, put my bags down and grasped her wrists with my hands. It was then that she pressed a small kiss into the nape of my neck. "Sara?" I managed to choke out.  
"Yes. How could you tell?" she said, softly.  
I sighed. "What you do to me, dear." I turned around and kissed her on the lips, lightly. We were in public, after all. I closed my eyes and let the kiss transport me to a happier place. I felt her arms wrap around me and hold me close to her.  
She pulled away when we both needed air. "Let's go get you settled in."  
My eyes were still closed. "Mmm-hmmm," I responded.

We walked to her car that was parked in the short-term parking. I couldn't be happier. I was with the one I loved, in a place she loved and we were going to be together for two months! Wow. Well, I had to teach a class, but we would still be spending time together.

I tossed my bags into the trunk of her car and got in the front. I looked over at her, and she looked at me. With a smile, we took off.

The drive was short. It seemed to take forever though; I wanted us to be in my room and talking. To talk to her! I sighed softly, but audibly.

"Gilbert," she asked. "Are you ok?"  
"I'm fine, sweetheart. Keep driving." I smiled at her. She grinned back at me with one of the smiles she reserved just for me.  
We soon arrived at the graduate dorms. Her room was on the third floor. My room would be on the fourth, but near the stairs that lead down to her room. It was a good idea to have separate rooms; at least we could get some work done.

First, we headed to my room. I had a small bathroom and a bedroom/office setup. It already had a TV with DVD player. It really didn't matter; I didn't have many DVDs with me. Anyway, I was taking this all in, and Sara wrapped her arms around me and kissed my neck again. I shut my eyes. "Mmmmm..." I drew in a breath. "Is the door open?" I asked.

Sara released her arms from around me and turned around. She shut the door and locked it with a click. Before I knew it, my mouth was on hers, with a passion that I didn't know existed in my body. I felt like I was with her for the first time; I was on fire.

We kissed for a good hour. It felt wonderful to have her soft lips contacting mine. Somehow, we had ended up on my bed. Although small, it was nice to lay next to her again. I sighed after kissing her for the millionth time. "Sara," I said, "how do you feel right now?"  
"I feel wonderful," she answered. "I'm so glad you came. I was worried you wouldn't."  
"Why did you think I wouldn't come?" I asked.  
"Well... I thought you would hate me for what I did... leaving like that."  
"No, sweetheart, I would never hate--" I was cut off.  
"Gil, listen. I hated you for leaving to go on that sabbatical. You left. I was afraid you wouldn't come back."  
"Of course I'd come back. I wouldn't be able to live without your touch. It's been hard for the past several months. I've missed your touch, your kiss, your mind..."  
Sara sighed. "Really?"  
"Yes. It's been a special hell."  
"A special hell? I find that kind of funny."  
"Well..." I stopped speaking and let my kiss reveal what I was truly thinking.

We woke up the next morning in a tangle of blankets and sheets and sweat and the smell of sex. I grinned at her and kissed her. "Shall we have a shower?" I asked her.  
"We should; but I feel exceptionally comfortable right here." She settled back into me.  
I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her shoulder. "I love you."  
She looked back at me. "I love you too," she said.

Soon enough, we ended up showered and dressed. I had to get my things organized and prepare for my first class.


End file.
